As a writer, I have several writing
defects that plague my work. The worst and most annoying is the adverb. As a novice author, I seemed to
use more adverbs than I did nouns. I was a novice, what did I know.
With experience, I have learned that,
at least for me, the adverb is a crutch for my laziness and an example of
shoddy writing. I thought that I was intentionally leaving the explanation more
open to the reader’s interpretation. No, I was just not taking the time to
fully develop my character or my scene.
I didn’t realize that every adverb
closes off an opportunity to write a great deal more of my story. That is, what
was I trying to say or imply by the insertion of the adverb? I realized that
instead of using the adverb, I should explain, ‘why’ the adverb, ‘what’ the
adverb, or ‘who’ the adverb. One of two answers resulted from the question. One,
if I couldn’t think of anything that had gone unsaid, I deleted the superfluous
adverb. Two, if I could think of other things that I needed to say, I wrote them
and then deleted the adverb. For example, if I wrote that the main character performed
an act ‘quickly,’ I wondered why he needed to do it quickly. I looked for ways
to show that it was quickly. Why did he do it quickly? What would have been the
result if he hadn’t done it quickly? There emerged a whole new dynamic for the
scene by not falling back on the adverb as a crutch.
I also realized that this didn’t stifle
the reader’s imagination when reading the scene. No matter how much explanation
I used, there was always room for the reader to imagine more. I found that when
I gave the expanded section to my beta readers, they still imagined more in
their own special way. The act of explaining more, showing more didn’t detract
from their individual experiences.
The best example that I’ve found of
this phenomenon was in E.L Irwin’s novel Lost and Found. In one passage, Irwin is describing a male character’s hands. I
don’t have the exact wording available but this is a close approximation. She
could have said that she admired his manly
hands. She didn’t. She said that she
admired his hands. She then spent two paragraphs describing what made the hands
manly to her character. What did her character see in the traits of the man’s hands?
What insights about the main character did opinion of the hands reveal? Irwin
revealed a great deal of the story and the main character just describing a man’s
hands. It was superb.
Now, I used the term ‘reveal’ a moment
ago. I view these extra descriptions used to replace adverbs as a great place
to embed a story’s reveals. Reveals
are something that the reader should know about a character before it becomes
necessary for the reader to know it. Indiana Jones is afraid of the snake in
the plane at the start of Raiders of the
Lost Ark. He says, ‘I hate snakes.’ Later in the movie, the director doesn’t
have to break a fast moving scene to explain why Indiana Jones reacts the way
he does wading through a sea of snakes to get to the ark.
These days, I have a writing policy
about adverbs. I only allow them in a character dialog. In real life, we all
use adverbs when we talk to convey those parts of our messages that are
inherently understood by most people and don’t need more explanation. We talk
that way. However, in telling my stories, I only allow three or fewer adverbs
in a given manuscript. Even then, I have a solid reason for leaving the adverb
in the passage. I sweat over it.
As a reader, see what adverbs seem to
do in your readings. Imagine what more the author could have told instead of
the using the adverb. For me, I have tried to eliminate adverbs in my writing. I
even periodically perform a text search for the ‘ly ‘ structure and the word very. I want my stories to have the
added definition.
My name is Jeff Bailey.
I write nuclear thrillers for a reason, I’ve worked in nuclear related
industries, from nuclear weapons to nuclear research, for fifty years. Deer Hawk Publications released my
first book, The
Defect in June of 2016. In The
Defect, I tell the story of a terrorist attack on a nuclear
power plant and why the government covered it up. The
Defect is based on true events. Deer Hawk Publications is scheduled
to release I’m
a Marine in the summer of 2017. I’m
a Marine is about a female aviation firefighter in the U.S. Marines who
witnesses the murder of two M.P.s. She decides that it is her duty to stop
them. Keep in mind that I write nuclear thrillers. The
Chilcoat Project, to be released in spring of 2018, is about the theft
of nuclear weapons secrets from a national laboratory. The
Chilcoat Project is also based on true events. My current project, Wine
Country, is based on the true story of the Radioactive Boy Scout, but
with a more sinister twist.
Welcome to my World
Kira Tynan's
review of The Defect. I really liked it I
thoroughly enjoyed this book about the sabotage of an American nuclear power
plant. The author has extensive experience with the subject matter and gives
great detail on the events that occur before, during and after a reactor
accident. The key players are identified up front. The background set up is
well-defined. The book's pace is steady but swift; this was a fast, easy read
with a lead character who is likeable and respect-worthy from the
beginning--and bad guys who weren't quite as bad as they believed. There's even
a hint of romance that was handled at an appropriate level for the type of
story being told. All in all, a wonderful read with the promise of other books
to follow in this series. Mr. Bailey, well done!
Books by Kira Tynan include: The Third Choice, The Red King, A Safe Place, and Dream Lover.
nuclear related
industries, from nuclear weapons to nuclear research, for fifty years. Deer Hawk Publications released my
first book, The
Defect in June of 2016. In The
Defect, I tell the story of a terrorist attack on a nuclear
power plant and why the government covered it up. The
Defect is based on true events. Deer Hawk Publications is scheduled
to release I’m
a Marine in the summer of 2017. I’m
a Marine is about a female aviation firefighter in the U.S. Marines who
witnesses the murder of two M.P.s. She decides that it is her duty to stop
them. Keep in mind that I write nuclear thrillers. The
Chilcoat Project, to be released in spring of 2018, is about the theft
of nuclear weapons secrets from a national laboratory. The
Chilcoat Project is also based on true events. My current project, Wine
Country, is based on the true story of the Radioactive Boy Scout, but
with a more sinister twist.
