Saturday, May 13, 2017

Writing Mistakes That I've Made by Jeff Bailey



I've been fortunate to work with a world class publisher, Deer Hawk Publications, and an editor for several years. They have, at times, worked me like a dog to curb some of my more egregious writing faux pas, errors that make me appear to be a rank amateur. I have a scheduled monthly faux pas correction edit that I perform to ferret out these bad habits.

Number one on my hit list is the word very. In the first manuscript that I sent to my publisher, I admit that I used the word very 248 awful times. My writing sounded like I had nothing concrete to say. As I've learned, my writing is greatly improved if I delete the word very and write why the very, what the very, or how the vary instead. Let me ask you which is more expressive, 'I love you very much' or 'I love you deeper than the deepest sea, higher that the highest mountain.' I do still  include an occasional very in character dialog. People use the word in every day speech. It happens. Outside of character dialog, I limit myself to two or three very's only if the context of the story demands them.

Only use impressive vocabulary to express impressive concepts like emotions, instinctive reactions, and the human feelings behind them. Don't use contrived vocabulary to express simple concepts like he said, she said. He expounded, she confabulated just sounds pretentious and complicates the reading experience. It's cumbersome. Stretch your vocabulary where the stretch does some good like expressing the million and one emotions that can be derived from a first kiss. Simple concepts are best delivered in simple terms.
Don't use special text formatting to try to build a scene or situation. Use words to build a scene or situation. When I see italics, bold, underlining, or oversized letters used to try to bring emphasis and/or impact to the written passage all I read is the equivalent of a drum shot, snare-thunk. For me, it's like having a stage actor look at the audience, grin and nod his head after every punch line, snare-thunk. Let the reader extract whatever emphasis best fits the readers interpretation of the words. The writer should concentrate on presenting the best words to elicit reader involvement.


Here' one of my hard earned pet peeves. Adjectives and adverbs blunt creative writing. I have overused both. I now realize that the statement that adverbs are the simple instrument of the weak mind is true. Instead of using an adverb, write out what adverb was meant to convey. For instance,  don't say, 'He crept quietly into the room,' say, 'He crept into the room.' Then write two paragraphs describing how he crept into the room. Use the active description to further develop the characters. 'He put his toes down first and then rolled onto his heel like he learned while in the military.' Or, 'He moved his hands in slow motion, not wanting his old joints to creak.' The best example of adjective substitution that I've ever read came from the E.L  Irwin novel Lost and Found. The female lead 'noticed his hands.' The female lead did not, 'notice his manly hands.' Irwin wrote two or three paragraphs about his hands and introduced insights into their background and character in the process. Search 'ly[blank]' and see how much more effectively you can write the what or why behind the adverb or adjective.

When editing, I have a basic, but absolute rule, KISS, 'keep it simple, stupid.' There's no other single writing flaw that will lose my interest faster that a long, complicated, flowery sentence with six thoughts, four subjects, five verbs that takes eleven breaths to read it because the writer doesn't KISS before I buy the book and start to read because reading is my passion, etc., etc. Some new authors equate long complicated sentence structure with advance writing style. Bosh. True, I'm a thriller and action writer. Short, clipped sentences work for tense, action scenes. But, I think all writers would benefit from a good KISS. So, unless an author is the new Emily Bronte, complicated sentences only frustrate readers. 
Mindful of the KISS principle, keep character names simple and topical. Using pretentious character names will be my last rant. I am usually put off by pretentious names that I have to take a break from the reading to try to pronounce. Go on Google and search for the common names indicative of the time period and region of the story.  Pick easy names from the list. Or, as I have done on occasion, open your ancestry files and pick names from your ancestors. Either way, keep it simple. Now I did use a two line long Greek name for one of my recurring characters in The Defect. However, after I shocked the reader with this incomprehensible name, I introduced the nickname that he answers to DAX. I wanted the reader to be so happy to see the three letter name that they would not forget where it came from. And, no I won't take the time to type it out. I don't want to have to try to read it or pronounce again, either.

Six simple rules. They seem easy don't they. Trust me they're not. But I do scan for these writing errors in my current project at least once a month. But, that's just me.


My name is Jeff Bailey. I write nuclear thrillers for a reason, I’ve worked in nuclear related industries, from nuclear weapons to nuclear research, for fifty years. Deer Hawk Publications released my first book, The Defect in June of 2016. In The Defect, I tell the story of a terrorist attack on a nuclear power plant and why the government covered it up. The Defect is based on true events. Deer Hawk Publications is scheduled to release I’m a Marine in May of 2017. I’m a Marine is about a female aviation firefighter in the U.S. Marines who witnesses the murder of two M.P.s. She decides that it is her duty to stop them. Keep in mind that I write nuclear thrillers. The Chilcoat Project, to be released in spring of 2018, is about the theft of nuclear weapons secrets from a national laboratory. The Chilcoat Project is also based on true events. My current project, Wine Country, is based on the true story of the Radioactive Boy Scout, but with a more sinister twist.

Welcome to my World

No comments:

Post a Comment